2014 has gotten off to a rough start. I’ll admit the 2nd half of 2013 wasn’t so great either. Emotionally I’ve been dealing with some family issues and it’s stripped my motivation for a lot of things. Being in a rut can effect many aspects of my life and it’s like a domino effect. I started out 2013 juicing, eating right, exercising. I had a clear path of what my goals where for the year, with my physical well being, financially and with my work. I even participated in my first Mud Run. But as the year went on I started to spiral out of control. Things were happening around me that I couldn’t control and I just started to care less and less.
I didn’t care if I hit more than 2,000 steps on my fitbit. I didn’t care if I only had 1 coupon when I went grocery shopping. I didn’t care if we had chicken nuggets and mac & cheese for dinner 3 times a week. And as the person in my family that likes to plan things and be the one to organize events, I didn’t even care what restaurant was chosen for dinner or who’s house we had Christmas at.
I’ve gained weight since the summer and again, didn’t really care. My house is a mess and the laundry needs to be reigned in. We are no longer debt free and it’s mentally dragging us down. Saying this out loud is scary but somewhat cathartic.
I saw a phrase the other night that resonated with me. “Be nice to everyone you meet, they’re fighting a battle you know nothing about.” I imagine it’s just a slight variation from a Plato quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.
If we could all wear our struggles on our sleeves, we’d all be kinder to each other. If you knew your neighbor was struggling with health problems, or the cashier at your grocery store had a family member that needed extra support, or the man you see at the library, doesn’t know where he’s getting his next meal. If we could all see, we’d all be kinder to each other.
But we don’t share this info. We don’t walk around telling everyone about our lives and struggles. We keep them bottled up inside because we can’t let anyone know we aren’t perfect.
And the people that do share their heartache, in many cases, are judged for talking about themselves, or being too negative.
Sharing that I’m not perfect and that I have obstacles that have pulled me down and kept me there for a while, is part of the process in healing.
I’m ready to start my upswing, or at least I WANT to start my upswing. I’m ready to climb out of the pit I’ve been in. It will be slow, I know it will be. Baby steps is what I keep telling myself. I’m not going to finish all the laundry TODAY or run a 5K, but that’s OK.
I don’t have it all together and I don’t claim too. I’m like everyone else, I’m struggling. Today maybe a good day, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. I’m going to find peace and hope in the positive. My family loves me. My husband is my rock, and I cherish him. My kids are my sunshine. God is good. They will be my motivation.